Red Tent Locations

Hartford, Connecticut

Our event was intimate and wonderful. I set up a beautiful red tent inside a yoga studio, with flowing red and fuschia fabric draped around, which made a wonderful setting for event. We did a brief smudging ceremony and layed out the groundrules, explaining that we were there to receive others' stories so please refrain from commenting or asking questions and be mindful of the time so that as many people possible will be able to share their stories. At the end of a story we rubbed our hands together (a traditional Jewish way of acknowledging a job well done) and said, "Thank you."

We started off with a candlelighting ceremony to pay homage to those babies that were lost, either through miscarriage or stillbirth, or other loss. Then, we shared our birth stories. I was amazed at the things that women had to share - the baggage that we carry with us about our births, and the joy that we remember. Each woman had an element of her story that surprised and impressed me.What was most interesting was to see how some women processed their experience right there in front of our eyes - telling their story out loud, uninterrupted, answering questions for themselves and acknowledging aspects for the first time, then being visibly more relaxed afterwards. One high point for me personally was that my mother attended and told the story of my birth. I had heard it before, of course, but it was different to hear her tell it all the way through, without all the little jokes and flourishes that are usually a part of the storytelling. I looked at her in a new light, realizing for the first time that she gave birth to me on her own, with my father halfway around the world. Even though he was not in the delivery room for the births of my older siblings, he was not even on the same continent when I was born. Her strength amazed me in a new way that night.

The best part though, was after all the women shared their stories and the video camera was turned off. All the women were chatting in small groups, and the videographer, who had been sitting very quietly and inobtrusively, came up to me and hugged me, and thanked me for asking him to be a part of the event, and proceeded to tell me the stories of the birth of his two children. He hugged me three more times before he left. He was so touched by the stories and the honesty of the women that he needed to share as well.